You see, I'm in training. Now when some of you think of training you may think of Crossfit. I can only watch that with my mouth gaping a little. My training is a little different... O.K. a lot different. I don't take elevators anymore and I walk a mile each evening after dinner and sometimes two if the mosquitoes are not too hungry. We live by a boggy area with nary a bat to be found (I may try building a bat house this summer). I've been doing these things religiously for a little over 3 weeks now. I have upped my speed some and after the first week I reversed my route to make the walk more difficult. Again, these are small things.
But tonight when we went to pick our son up from a week away at camp I did something I didn't think I could do. I did something that I feared. I didn't wheeze, I didn't trudge, I didn't put my hands on my thighs to push myself up, I didn't pick my way, I marched up this steep, high hill to my sons dorm without huffing, puffing, stumbling or missing a beat. And when I got to the top I didn't need to stop and catch my breath.
No one else noticed my smile, no one else knew I wanted to do the Rocky dance (0:49), no one knew the fear welling up inside me when I started that climb. What if I fell, what if I had to take a break before I could continue up, people would be watching me not be able to do this. But when I got going, I just felt that I was going to do it, and do it well. I felt good. I felt able. And I made it to the top better than some of the others.
I faced a fear head on and because I worked on building up my strength, the fear didn't win. I am one step closer to living a life not ruled by my fear of the unknown. I am one step closer to my goal. I am one step closer to becoming a Warrior Princess (LOL).
Tonight was a good night. A very good night.
I think I'll walk 3 miles tomorrow morning because I believe I can.