Monday, September 13, 2010
I have wondered about this day, off and on for 12 years. My son is in the very early stages of having a girlfriend and this is all new territory for me.
You see, when I was growing up I was different than he is. I was backward, shy, quiet, disheveled. I was the kid that wore cast off clothes and wreaked of my dad's cigarette smoke. I had a few people that I spoke to at school, but no close friends. Things started to change a little when I hit middle school. I started to take a more vested interest in my appearance . But feelings of inferiority run deep, so I kept quiet all the way through graduation. I had my first boyfriend/relationship when I was 19 years old.
It wasn't that I didn't want a boyfriend, boys just didn't look at me that way. And you know what, I missed all the drama the other girls went through. I didn't have the back stabbing, the tears, the "I can't walk down this hallway during 6th period because he'll be there" junk. My ideas of what it would be like to have a boyfriend were way better than real life anyway.
So there is a young lady at school that has been waving at my son at lunch for the past 2 weeks. We'll call her "J". Last Friday my little guy attended his first 6th grade dance. It was all very innocent, after school from 3-5pm. No time for kids to go home, change, put make-up on or get into mischief after dark. They simply left their last class, threw stuff in their lockers and paraded to the gym. In short order "J" had sent "the messenger" to see if he liked her. He responded in the affirmative and from what I understand, for the rest of the dance he would walk past her and wave and she would walk past him and wave. It's now Monday and according to his friends and her friends, she's his girlfriend.
Really... that's how it works?
At this point, he is still asking a lot of questions. Which is hilarious, because I have no idea how middle school relationship are done. But, I'm staying calm, telling him to treat "J" like he would want a boy to treat his little sister, and if they want to talk outside of school he has to be the one to call her. No girls calling the house. And it has to be their home phone, not her cell phone. I want her mom knowing that her daughter is being phoned by a young man. Oh... and hands off. No public display of affection permitted. They have strict rules at school and he could end up in detention for holding her hand. Which works really well to my benefit because he's petrified of detention. I'm going to ride that train as far as it will go :)
I need to prepare myself that my "little romantic" could get his heart broken. But, I'm glad at this point, that he is keeping a level head and not mentioning the word, love. He likes "J". And I can live with young like.